Awaken each morning….

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; to approach my work with a clean mind; to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the ultimate purpose toward which I am working; to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done – this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.

Thomas Dekker

I will always love you

Since I got the text in the early hours of Sunday morning the refrain of this song made famous by Whitney Houston keeps going through my head.

I have deliberately kept away from reading the news as I expect there will be two distinct perspectives to her death. The one scathing in it’s judgement of her battle with drugs and addiction, the other defiantly holding on to the nostalgia produced by her amazing voice and music.

So, I am reminded of these words of scripture “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I am sure there are those among Whitney’s family and friends who never gave up and ‘will always love her’ . As in our lives, we too may have people we love with whom we must be ever hopeful.

Today is Valentines day and it’s not all flowers, cards and chocolate for everyone. It is however a great day to evaluate our definition of love to ourselves and to others.

I find that it is a considerable challenge to achieve our goals if we don’t love ourselves enough to try. And even when we do, to succeed in life calls for us to go beyond ourselves and love others too.

What goals do you want to achieve this year? Check that they fit in with an overall vision for your life and of those important to you. Do the goals represent what and who you value the most? Goals should not just be SMART or SMARTER, they should also be rooted in love. At least that’s what I think…..

Here is to a Happy Valentines day, however you are celebrating it.

Mood contagion

I came across an article about the different ways our emotions are influenced by other people and that got me thinking.   Apparently  we are sensitisers, senders or repressors,  i.e in terms of our emotional personalities.  See if you can identify which one you are and more importantly (at least for me) how other people affect your moods and ultimately some of  your decisions.

Sensitisers: empathetic and sensitive, prone to picking up the mood of others, finding themselves hostage to the emotion of others. Sensitisers, in the company of some people,  may feel animated one moment and depressed the next, soaking up the emotional content of the situation.

Senders: extrovert, outgoing and charismatic, they tend to transmit their emotions to others, drawing them into their emotional orbit. While senders can be exhilarating people,  they can also pass on negative emotions.

Repressors:  a third mood personality, they tend to shut themselves off from their emotions and those of others. Repressors may display a lack of concern which could also be due to the fear that they might care too much.

I, like everyone else, and to varying degrees,  pick up and pass on moods. However, this information about the different mood personalities is  helpful, as it teaches me how to better regulate my own moods or emotion, particularly as I relate to others.

Understanding the different types of mood personalities also helps me work through a concept I learnt recently; the art of ‘budgeting’ our emotions. As we understand ourselves better, and recognise our emotional triggers, we can decide how long, if at all we will allow ourselves to be negatively affected by a person or circumstance.

Each day, I  ’budget’ my emotions, trying to ensure that I only indulge in those that serve me and help me reach my goals, while the others become extraneous.

What is your mood personality?

Why do we do the things we do (but shouldn’t)?

At the weekend, I was invited to a friend’s birthday meal at  a restaurant where everyone had a three course meal. It was a fixed menu, so I really had no choice but to order the dessert!

There were four items of dessert on offer,  I chose the waffle and ice cream (pictured, the other plate was not mine, I hasten to add) as the least detrimental to my health!  However, I suspect that as you read this, you are not convinced that was the best choice.  Neither am I, but I ordered it anyway.

Why do we do the things we do, but shouldn’t? Well for a number of reasons, which range from not knowing any better to simply being unconcerned about the consequences. Many of us don’t actually stop to think why but research indicates that when we think about how our actions relate to our ultimate life goals, we can improve our life’s satisfaction.

I personally think one of the most common reasons why we self sabotage is that we don’t have a compelling enough vision for our life. Because when we do, every choice that we make will be to serve that vision. I know that in my life, whenever I have had a clear and powerful vision (or goal), I make every effort to ensure my decisions  align with it. And when I don’t quite succeed in a particular area, I strive to keep going, rather than be overcome by regret.

So did I regret my waffle?  No. I enjoyed it, knowing that bar another birthday meal, in the same restaurant, with the same fixed menu; I would probably choose a healthier option. Or maybe not…..

My life. My pulpit

During a recent conversation with my sister, she spoke such true and profound things about life, I felt immediately uplifted. We were talking about the fact that all of us have a voice or platform and speaking with influence is not just the purview of religious preachers or political leaders. Each of our individual lives speak.

The question for you is this: what is your life saying? What are you communicating to others? In business you might consider your personal brand, and how that reflects in the business. Is it speaking of delivering value, great products or services? At work, does your life speak of your professionalism, integrity or commitment? And is your personal life speaking of loving friends, excellent health and a great lifestyle?

The question for me is this: what are you hearing from my life, and how can I communicate to you more effectively? My goal this year is make my message (life) come across with clarity, consistency and candour. Let the preaching begin.

Change your mind

I found this quote recently and thought about what it means in my life. ‘when we really take control of how we think and start to change our habits, our characters change and our lives transform’

Evidently changing our thoughts is the first step, we then need to allow the new thoughts to effect change in our character.

Happy thoughts, daily affirmations or whatever else we use to change our thoughts to positive and productive ones is one part.

Developing the character that exhibits great habits such as integrity, discipline and courage is the other part.

I think this is exciting. In order to transform our lives and start to enjoy what we have dreamt of or designed, all we need to do is ‘change our minds’.

Change your thinking, change your habits, change your character and your life will change.

Here’s to a great year ahead!

In review

In the New Year, I want to make a more considered effort to journal. It is always affirming, I think, to find notes, comments, thoughts, feelings that we have written down in the past and be able to see how much we have changed or grown. It is also good to help locate where we are, such that we may know where we are going.

Well, today I came across an old notebook of mine from 2007
and I found some lovely ‘gems’ which I had written:

‘In order for a person to experience happiness, fulfilment and peace, they need to know two things: who they are and who they are meant to be’

‘Don’t be a victim of circumstance, instead examine your circumstances, evaluate their usefulness and then use them as a blueprint for how you would build your life’

‘What other people think of or say about me must not influence what I know to be true about myself. To doubt myself because of others would be to hand over my power to them’

Sometimes, we just need reminding of somethings. Merry Christmas!

It takes courage

I am totally in awe of wise people; philosophers, sages, poets and the like.  They have the truly amazing gift of summing up human thought and endeavour in succinct yet powerful terms.

I came across this a while back, and until I can quote it properly and give credit to the author, I will paraphrase. It talks about the concept of freedom and says something to this effect.

The secret of happiness is freedom,  the secret of freedom is courage.

As I do when I come across a statement so significant;  I want to let everyone know.  My friends and family are quickly made aware of my discovery as I rave about how great and ultimately life changing it is!

Perhaps you too, my new friends should ponder that weighty statement. It takes courage to be truly free. And, it takes courage to become who we were destined to become.

Believe in the ‘terrific.’

Tagore said, ‘I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door – or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.’

I feel that way at this time in my life, optimistic and hopeful.

While for many of us,  our present circumstances may look challenging, or difficult, even dire, I am convinced that something terrific will come.  But ‘terrific’ will come not just because we quote it, but because we are committed to seeing it ‘arrive’.

I am currently developing a bright compelling vision which will draw me to this place called ‘Terrific’. And because I am drawn to it, I begin to order my life around it. That is what a vision does.  It helps you see clearly where you want to go; it gives you momentum when you feel confident, and the drive to carry on when you are not.  It helps you communicate to others who may be able to help you get there and it makes you hopeful and optimistic about life.  And quite frankly, it’s a better place to be.

I invite you to believe in the ‘terrific’

It’s the end of the month

I was determined to meet my challenge of a 50,000 word novel this month. I tried really hard, but didn’t get to the required word count.  The last few days was made worse by the fact that I got a virus on my laptop which saw me spending hours poring through forums and YouTube videos on how to sort out my BSOD (Blue Screen of Death!)  I love the internet; there is almost nothing that you can’t learn.

Anyway, I haven’t managed to retrieve all my documents, including the novel.  And while that might sound to you like a digital version of ‘the dog ate my homework’ excuse, it is true all the same!  I am going to search more forums and videos for a way to recover my documents, but that does not help this particular challenge, as today is the end of the month.

When I do find it, I will finish it, mainly to maintain my own personal integrity i.e  finish what I started, but also to prove to all virus (or any other distraction) I won’t be beaten. This novel WILL be finished!!