At one of our recent workshops, the question of authenticity came up. It was this idea that we owe it to ourselves, to be true and genuine, both in our approach to life and in our relationship to others.
Not too long ago, this was a real issue for me. I was searching for answers as to why I felt slightly disconnected from the life that I was leading. I remember speaking to someone about the disquiet I felt and they responded by saying how thankful I should have been for where I was. I felt like punching them! Of course I was thankful for where I was, I just knew there was more out there for me! I wrote a blog at the time (sadly it hasn’t been updated for a while) but it was on this very subject. It was called ‘Be Real’ and came from my own experiences of wanting to create a life that was wholly mine.
What does that mean? We are born with what some refer to as a blank slate, and then grow up with a life full of writing that has not been penned by our own hands. The thoughts of others; parents, teachers, siblings, peers, and even Mr Smith the next door neighbour, replace any thoughts that start forming in our minds. Therefore by the time we too are adults we have a life script of ideas, values and thoughts which come from many sources, and we are not sure which ones actually originate from us. Some of us then ask ‘Will the real me please stand up?’ I did.
Well the quest for authenticity starts with that very question. How do we separate the voices and values of others from our own? It starts by asking more questions unfortunately, but also having the courage to answer them. Ask yourself; are you happy with your results? Do you have flourishing relationships? Do you enjoy good health? Do you enjoy your work, or business? If you discover that you are not too pleased with the responses, chances are you living off a life script that’s not wholly yours. So start to examine the thought processes that got you the results you currently have. Then measure it by only one thing; do they work for you? Not other people, you.
Start the journey to find the real you. You’ll be glad you did.